Therapy in Waterloo, ON
What We Hear From Parents & Couples In Waterloo
So many people we see in Waterloo want the same thing: to be valued, appreciated, to have a sliver of time to meet our own needs, and to be seen as a whole person, not just the one everyone leans on.
Between the noise, the constant contact, and the endless grind of caregiving, you can feel completely tapped out by evening – just wishing bedtime was over so you can “turn off”.
The pressure to show up as the parent you want to be is crushing – and despite knowing how you want to be, you can’t seem to help from losing your cool and worry you’re repeating old patterns.
You are told to be grateful for all your body has done, and you want to embrace the changes and be ok in your skin – but a part of you wants the old you back – this new body feels like a stranger. You wish it mattered less to you.
The person you were before becoming a parent hasn’t disappeared, but they’ve shifted, and figuring out what’s still you takes time and curiosity. Maybe you’re grieving your old life – and that’s ok.
You love your child(ren) so much, and you want to be the best mom for them. Yet now that you’re here, no matter how much you give, a voice in your head keeps insisting it isn’t enough. Isn’t this supposed to be natural? Maybe you worry you’re just not cut out for this job.
It’s like neither of you can really see the other’s pain or struggle because you are struggling so much yourselves – you have the same argument and never get anywhere.
A lifetime of people pleasing that bumps up against parenthood, creates a new level of exhaustion. Wanting to say no, but not knowing how or feeling like you can’t means you’re running on fumes and building resentment you don’t have space to carry.
When you have a chunk of time to yourself, the pressure to use it well overwhelms you. Do you clean up? Do you eat or shower? Do you flop on the couch and zone out on your phone? Are you actually supposed to work out now? The reality is your needs are going chronically unmet, and the task list is never ending – an hour does next to nothing to fill your cup but the pressure for it to restore you is BIG.
The gap between the parent you pictured being and your real day experience can ache in a way that’s hard to name. Guilt for being less patient than you want to be, for not loving vrooming trains, for wanting to just sit and not be needed – this is so much harder than you expected.
All parents have scary, intrusive thoughts pop into their mind – it can be a terrifying image that pops into your mind, or almost like a video clip playing out in your mind of something awful happening to baby, you, or a loved one. Many parents never share these – so we don’t know how normal it is and that it doesn’t say anything about the kind of parent you are.
you’re new to being a parent, and still figuring things out – and it doesn’t help that everyone has an opinion that feels like judgement – your mom, your mother-in-law, the complete strangers at the grocery store who share their passive-aggressive snarks about how you’ve dressed your baby. You’re so tired of feeling criticized for trying to figure this out your own way.
The invisible work of remembering all the things for baby and the house, and holding it together is heavy to carry alone and I feel so resentful that it all falls to you.
When you’re this depleted, exhaustion gets between you and the moments you most want to enjoy – perhaps you feel guilty for wishing time away so things might get easier.
Changes in your body, your mood, and your sense of self can make your own reflection hard to meet.
You knew having a baby would test you, but I didn’t expect it to be this hard on you. You have such different perspectives and so little time and energy to talk about the big stuff or even just try to connect. One of you feels they’re taking on more than the other, one of you feels constantly criticized and cast aside.
